Garrett places 9th

Just got back to the motel and had to post. Garrett got 9th place! The first judge looked and looked at him but sent him on to the "dead sea". (where sends pigs he doesn't like) The second judge really liked him and wrote his number down. When they came together judge #2 told judge #1 about Garrett and they looked at him together. Had Garrett walk him by a couple of times and pulled him to the holding pen! It was soooo exciting! All the hold pigs were let out and judge #2 still liked Garrett's pig. They pulled the top 4 and started placing from 5th to 10th. I just watched those chips being handed out and was holding my breath. Garrett kept taking that pig round and round those judges. At one time the pig went between the judges and Garrett just walked around them and brought the pig in front of them again. He finally got a chip! We had lost count so wasn't sure what place he had gotten. We saw him come around and he was grinning from ear to ear. He said "another 9th place". I know you had to be there to be as excited and anxious as we were but just take my word for it. It was too close for comfort! You can watch the show on www.liveauctions.tv ( I think that is the right web site. I will look it up and if it is wrong I will let you know.)

EXCITING NEWS!

Got an e-mail from the dog breeder that the puppies have been born! When we lost Zoey, I found out that Zoey's mom was going to have puppies in March so it has all worked out fine. There are 5 puppies: 2 girls and 3 boys. Guthri woke up this morning and I showed her pictures. She decided the one with a pink "collar" was a girl. We talked about some names and she just stared at the computer screen. It was so sweet. We should be able to bring home "her baby" around the first of May. We are thrilled!

Houston without a camera!

At 2 a.m. we pulled into the La Quinta on Buffalo Speedway across from the Reliant Center in Houston. Right as we entered the parking lot I realized I left my camera at home!!! You see procrastination got the best of me. I was so busy getting all the essentials packed that I forgot to pack what I wanted most of all. I really wanted to take some good pictures to share and use on scrapblog.com.

I do not like crafting and really can't stand sitting there cutting out paper so when I discovered scrapblog I was so excited. Not that I have created anything spectacular but I do love computers and discovered that I could "scrapbook" using my computer! Wow! But now, I don't have any pictures.

Want to take a vote? Do you think Lonnie will let me buy a new camera?

Procrastination

Do you ever procrastinate? I do all the time!!!!! This week is no different. We are leaving for Houston on Friday as soon as school is out and it is Wednesday night at 9:40 and I have not even started packing! What am I thinking? I just can't stand to pack so I have put it off as long as possible. I really don't have time Thursday night so guess I will be up most of the night getting it all done. Man, I am just lazy!

For the month of March my class is to learn about Respect and actually present a short presentation at our weekly hall meeting. Have I started? You guess! I am not showing much respect for my team mates, am I?

I have got to get a plan at school and at home to get rid of this horrible habit. Wish me luck!

The Greatest Commandment

Tonight at church, we sang the song "The Greatest Commandment". It is a beautiful song!

The first time I heard it, I was going to a church in Brownwood for the first time. Lonnie, Garrett and I had moved there two weeks earlier and lost our unborn son one week earlier. It was a horrible time in my life and I truly felt like God had let me down. At that time in our lives, we had dedicated everything we had to God and we were on top of the world. We had our wonderful son Garrett, for the first time we were pregnant, Lonnie was starting the job he had always wanted and we were living in the same town as my parents. Life could not get any better. But four days after moving there the son we were expecting to bring home from the hospital in one week just suddenly died. I cannot explain the pain.

I got way off base....When I was at church in Brownwood fighting back every tear, the congregation began to sing this song. The song begins like this, "Love one another, for love is of God." I just sat there weeping and could not stop. All I could think "Well, if God is love then why did He let my baby die?" It was a horrible feeling. I heard that song at least a hundred times before we left Brownwood and even began to sing it myself but because I liked the melody not the words.

I allowed myself to lose my faith in God! For years I remained in a pool of depression and blamed God for everything that He allowed to go wrong. I still attended church, I still taught Sunday school, I still sang every Sunday but as a habit not as a worship. I took Garrett to everything at church because I knew it was right but didn't want to let God back into my heart completely. I held up my guard, constantly having those words sung over and over in my head.

One day I discovered that I was pregnant again. I can't explain the feelings but it was happiness with a hint of fear and bitterness. I never allowed myself to become completely attached to the baby. I was fortunate to have a wonderful doctor who did everything right. He made sure that baby arrived healthy and happy. The night Guthri was born was a weird night. She would be 5 weeks early but it was for her safety and mine. I will never forget Lonnie bringing her to me and I looked at her and was disappointed because she was not dark headed and looked nothing like her brother in heaven. Somehow, I was hoping that she would look like Grady and it would make everything right.

The next day as I was looking at her and watching Garrett feed her, I heard those words again. This time not just in my head but in my heart too. Part of me was softening up to God. That whole time I struggled with what I knew was right and what was in my head. My heart was finally taking over. Relief of the bitterness was in sight.

We moved to Childress a few years later and fell in love with our church and church family. To make a long story not so long, my heart softened because of the faith I regained watching my church family. I saw God as love, God as charity, God as service. We are learning to sing "The Greatest Commandment" here in Childress. This time I sang it as WORSHIP! Thanks Nate for bringing this back into my life!

Sometimes Love is Hard!

Have you ever had one of those days that you just think "I would just like to run away!" I have been trying so desperately the last few weeks to be more supportive and complimentary of Lonnie. I am not very good at voicing it to him so after reading a blog from our preacher, I vowed to find something nice to say every day. What was I thinking?

There are going to be bad days, days of endless pressure, days of absent mindedness, just days of not getting along. Today was one of those days. Lonnie has been gone for weeks and has spent very little time "taking care of family matters." We are all stressed and today it all just came to a head. I will spare you all the details but I was selfish, he was selfish and neither of us budged. But what was so funny is that it made me think of what I could say in "3 Reasons I Love my Husband Today". At first I thought "no way, not today". But the more I thought about it and worked my way through all the frustration I realized how much I do love him. I can't live without him. He is a wonderful father, a great provider, a valuable friend.

I guess what I am trying to say it that no matter how MAD I get at him, I truly love him. I can't imagine how I would manage without him. He makes me proud to call him my husband.