I Will Never Get Used to It!

Lonnie's job is demanding and there are some times that it seems he only has time for his job. This last year has been extremely tough because he has not had a co-worker and it has ALL fallen on his shoulders. He takes his responsibility very seriously and always wants things to be perfect. His obligations doubled this past year, so he has been on the road more than usual.

I am so proud of his accomplishments, his awards, his appointments. He is chairman of so many committees that I cannot remember them all. He is a director for his professional organization. He has been honored to be appointed to a leadership program called S.A.L.E. He is a busy man!

Today, he left for the District 3 Horse Show for three days. As usual, this morning he was finishing up his packing, helping me get Guthri ready and I was running out the door for school. I ran back to the bedroom to kiss him good-bye and we were gone in our separate ways in no time. By 5 o'clock this afternoon, I was missing him terribly. This is his 3rd trip in three weeks. He usually leaves in the morning or during the day when I am at school, so sometimes it is hard to remember he has left town. When things slow down at night, the kids and I really miss his presence. Today, Guthri was laying on the sofa and she said, "mom, I miss dad!" It almost made me cry. I know how she feels. Just a few minutes ago Garrett asked, "When is dad coming home?" Lonnie's absence has become so regular we have begun to forget to tell the kids he is going out of town! I keep thinking I will get used to him being gone so much, but no way. I will never get used to it!

Penny Pincher

During the summer I have more time to contemplate our "budget" and all the frivolous things we tend to spend our money on during the school year. Usually, we are in survivor mode during the year and just do whatever it takes to make it through. But summer arrives and I start to freak on our lack of self-control in spending. This summer is no different. I tend to freak out over money and I would have to say I am maybe a little more paranoid than normal.

I have started thinking about the next few years that are heading our way and all the changes (expenses) we will incur with a teenage, college bound driver. I am so nervous. In just 9 months Garrett will need a car. He will need gas, maintenance, INSURANCE!!! It just gets worse. That will be a drop in the bucket compared to college expenses!

So, in the tradition of things I have started my coupon clippin', bargain shoppin', hagglin', and just plain penny pinchin'. Lonnie went with me to the grocery store yesterday and I think I completely embarrassed him. I was handing over those coupons like they were gold and making sure that the sale prices were correct at the check-out. He just stood there and looked around. Our grocery store has a game going right now and I even took a complete strangers tickets because she didn't play the game! Lonnie never said a word. As we were leaving the the store someone was selling raffle tickets that we had agreed to purchase earlier. Of course you getter a better deal with the more you spend (ie....6/$10 instead of 1/$2). So Lonnie says "$10 worth." I stop dead in my tracks and say "What? No. Just one ticket will be sufficient." I know I completely humiliated him!

I hate being this way. I don't mind being thrifty but when it comes to embarrassing my family, I have to sit back and chill!

Organization

Years ago, I considered myself one of the most organized people I knew. EVERYTHING had a place and if it was out of place, I was completely messed up. Closets were neat and cleaned out regularly, dishes and silver were stacked according to size and use, clothes were hung in the closet according to season, color, and purpose. Poor Garrett had to have his toys in a certain location IN the toy box. He would dump everything out and I would spend hours putting it back in the perfect way so it would all fit. I desperately tried to teach him to do the same but a slob he was and a slob he will be FOREVER! I was completely anal!!

Now, I can't find my nose. My house is just piles of papers that I don't know what to do with, items that don't have a regular purpose are just laid wherever they fell, discarded furniture is thrown in the barn...I have just let it all go. I am not sure why or when it all started but it still drives me crazy. I would say daily I am saying "we need to get organized". Then, I just sit there in pure confusion about what to do with it all. We need storage so badly but can't seem to find exactly what I want, if I even know what I need!

It seems when my "physical" life is unorganized so is the rest of my life. We have five calendars that we post appointments, commitments, etc...but I still forget appointments or obligations. EVERY day I have to search high and low for Guthri's shoes, shampoo and hairbrush. It is EVERY day! Why can't I just put them where I know I will find them?

We have coat hooks and shelves by both doors but they are loaded with anything but caps, jackets and bags. Right now there are shopping bags hanging from the hooks by the back door so there is no place to put my purse. So...it is sitting on the dining table. The computer blew up a couple of weeks ago so the hard drive is sitting by the front door waiting to be discarded. It is like I want to get rid of it because it is ruined and cannot be fixed but then I think "all my records, pictures, documents all lost. I want them back." so I can't get rid of it. The basement is like a rummage sale. Things are thrown everywhere. Our laundry room is in the basement so it is a challenge to get to the dryer!

I truly believe I need to hire a professional organizer and just let them organize my house so I can have an organized life again. Maybe then, I wouldn't feel so overwhelmed with all the stuff and actually be able to be productive. I have been looking on-line for suggestions and can't seem to find anything that would fit our house or our life style. I am not giving up though. Some day organization will be back in my life!!!

We are just boring!

I read all these blogs of families traveling here and there, doing all kinds of fun activities and I look at our family and think, we are just boring! I read about making smores over a trash barrel (how fun is that!), joining the country club for golfing and swimming, taking small trips just for fun, going to the movies......Everyone is doing something but us!

Part of it is because we are busy right now and Lonnie seems to be headed 500 different directions and he is never home. Part of it is because I am teaching summer school. Part of it is because Garrett has not finished Driver's Ed. Part of it is because the month of May was so busy we have lots of "house chores" that need to be taken care of (Not like we've done anything, but we do have them to do.) Part of it is because we are just flat out boring.

None of us can make a decision on where we want to go or we just can't agree. July 4th weekend we are supposed to take an annual camping trip to Cloud Croft, New Mexico but already Lonnie and I are coming up with excuses to not go.....tents and rain don't mix! But, then I think we will just sit around here doing nothing so would rather face the rain and mud. We make excuses because of money, but it is amazing we can come up with the money for other things. We say we are just tired and ready to stay home, but that is just not true for me. I am sick of staying home. None of us are fans of lakes or oceans and we really don't like the hot weather, so summer fun is difficult for us.

I think our biggest issue is just not agreeing on what to do. Lonnie's convention is in San Antonio this year so he thinks a couple of extra days in the SA area constitutes a vacation. I would like to take two or three small trips plus SA. Guthri just wants to go back to Wonderland! Garrett doesn't care as long as we do something! Can you tell we are an indecisive family? No one will make the decision and if I do and things don't go well, then I feel guilty! No wonder we are so boring!

Maybe an epipheny will hit me soon that will make everyone happy!

I Don't Want To

I do not know what is wrong with me but I seriously cannot get myself kick-started this week. What is wrong with me? I am teaching 4th grade summer school and I just cannot get motivated to do something creative and fun with those poor kids. I know they are bored to tears! I have one fun activity planned for tomorrow (well, I think it is fun)

This spring I made all kinds of plans to redo my bathroom, paint the living room, and wax the living room floor and I just sit here and look at it and think "hmm....I need to get on that." But have I been to the paint store...have I found a new shower curtain or bath set.....have I even thought about the floor......NO! I cannot get motivated to even look at getting it done.

My classroom looks like a tornado hit six months ago and I never cleaned it up but kept piling things. If I don't get organized, my poor kids next year will be digging their way out of paper mountains by the end of the second six weeks. Every time I look at my shelves, I just groan and walk away. I haven't even sat at my desk this week because I don't want to see the mess.

Some how I have to get out of this mode! It is going to be August and I am going to wonder what has happened to my summer. Anyone have any ideas?

Puppies are worse than babies!

The kids and I have been visiting my parents for the past three days. We brought along our newest baby, Chloe and poor Granny has followed her around with a bottle of Resolve to clean up all the "puppy piddle". My parents are good sports and just go along with the flow. Chloe has gotten into everything, gets under their feet, torn up plants, you name it she has been into it.

Well, Thursday night around 11, Guthri comes running into the sun room with Chloe in tow and say "Mom, Chloe just ate something and I don't know what it is!" We all jump up and run to the living room and there it was.....DCon Mouse Pellets all over the floor! My dad had stuck a box under the sofa because they had seen a mouse earlier so he put the box up under the back of the sofa. Well, you know puppies, they find everything and just go to town with it.

Dad got on the phone trying to talk to a vet. I called Lonnie to call our vet and find out what we could do. There is no way Guthri could lose this puppy! It would be too much! Finally, dad gets in touch with a vet, Lonnie calls and says our vet said to make her drink Peroxide to make her vomit. So, Garrett and I are forcing syringes of Peroxide down this poor puppies throat as fast as we can. Finally, she vomits all over the back porch and it is soooooo green. I won't go into details but basically she vomited until it was white! None of us slept very well (except Chloe) because we were so afraid something would happen to her.

The vet dad talked to said to take her in for a shot of Vitamin K. We took her this morning to see a sweet vet in Comanche and he gave her a shot and assured us she would be fine. Lonnie called our vet and he told Lonnie Chloe would be fine. Phew!!!

We have all been on puppy duty the whole time we were here but man she just got away from us for less than 2 minutes and look what happened. I remember when the kids were young, they could get into a mess in no time and inevitably it was late at night or when I really didn't have time to deal with it. Puppies are not different!

We are all thankful Chloe is fine. Poor Granny and Pappy felt so responsible when it was not their fault, so they really are wiped out today from all the "trauma". Some times "granddogs" can be more stressful than grandkids!

Living with ADHD

So many times I am reminded that generally people don't accept children with ADHD. Normally I get so upset with those people and would like to just knock them between the eyes. This time I am the one that needs to be knocked between the eyes! I am wiped out with just five days of no school for him. We try so desperately to not give him his medicine on the days he will not be doing something important or needs to be calm. Therefore, he has not had medicine in five days!

I have lost patience with him and resorted to screaming at the top of my lungs to get him to do what I ask. I am not talking chores, I am talking...running in a store, lowering his voice, eating with his mouth closed in a restaraunt, playing rock, paper scissors in church, etc.... Now, most of these issues are typical teenage boy behavior but when a person is ADHD the actions become mganified by 1ooo%. He is louder than others, he is faster than others, he talks more than others. It is just who he is.

I generally can deal with these behaviors and just laugh later. But, today I just cannot laugh about it. He is on my nerves! He is no different today than he has ever been, it is me. I am tired and am genuinely tired of dealing with these behaviors with my students and him. I need to pray and just take a time away.

Garrett is an awesome kid with a heart of gold. His heart is so open to the kittens and the puppies and the babies. He is phenominal with little kids. I know he has a talent to work with children some day. He has turned into a wonderful young man and I am so proud of who he has become. He is not the one with a problem, it is me!