It is no secret that this school year has been extremely tough on me (and so many of my teacher friends). Seems that new curriculum, new reading books, bigger classes, deadlines, new guidelines for intervention, new guidelines for grading has just taken its toll on me and I allowed it to take away my joy of teaching. I have been working every Saturday to get my job done and I felt deprived of time with my own family. Not what I signed on for when I decided to go back to school to get my teaching certification that is for sure!
Today, I caught myself getting all overwhelmed with time restraints and expectations and trying to take care of my own children. I was e-mailing back and forth one of Garrett's teachers to work out a problem and in the end I told her to not "sweat the small stuff". Because truly what I was trying to work out was "small stuff". Nothing life shattering, nothing that would predetermine the future. It was just "small stuff". Truly!
Shortly after that last e-mail I took my kids to the restroom and was standing in the hallway waiting on my kids, making sure they were quiet and in a straight line and I noticed something. Not one of kids was smiling. They were standing almost at attention with straight, somber faces. They are only 8 and 9 years old for goodness sake! What was I doing? How was I ever going to teach them if I did not have a relationship with them? They needed to know my love BEFORE they knew my knowledge. It just tore me up inside. I have always loved teaching and my favorite part is getting to know my kids. They become my children for the rest of their lives. YES....even the ADHD kids, the misfit kids, the gross kids, the shy kids, the ugly kids (and you know there are just some), the dirty kids, the smart kids....they ALL become mine. I had spent the last 4 weeks with 21 kids that I did not know. I knew them no better today then I did August 23. Shame on me!!!!!!!
We went back to the classroom and began our reading lesson. I had them open their books, we did all the pre-reading stuff and they all just sat there raising their hands so politely and waiting their turn. Never in my class have I thought it necessary to raise hands! I love for kids to call out answers to show me their excitement. I just started saying "anyone" and they know that means "go for it". Answers and ideas started coming at me like gang-busters. It felt so good. We started reading and stopping almost every sentence to talk, to learn together. I got to tell them stories, they got to tell me stories. I SAT ON A STUDENT DESK (heaven forbid) with my feet in a chair at that! It was the most awesome time I have had with my students this year. It was amazing. They opened up and showed me who they were because I opened up and showed them who I truly was.
I have been telling myself all day to quit "sweating the small stuff" even if it means I don't get it all done! There are only 3 things I truly think are "big things":
1) my soul
2) my children and spouse's soul
3) my relationship with others so they can see Jesus in me
That's it for me.....no more "small stuff".
Well, that little blond headed Dyslexic daughter of mine went and did it! UIL.... Little stink has been so worried about trying out for UIL teams and wanted to do "something" so badly that we spent a few hours in tears last week with me trying to convince her to not try and her trying to figure out what she wanted to try! I just didn't have enough faith! 
