Passwords

Sometimes life can be so overwhelming!! I feel like my life is cram-packed with "stuff" which leaves me no time to breath. Here lately it seems that I need my computer more and more to do things. I love technology and would not live without it but have you ever noticed that EVERYTHING you do on your computer requires a password??? I mean really....bank account, blog, e-mail, various memberships, debit card, school work, etc....the list could go on forever. Now I understand the necessity but I am lost in a sea of passwords. So not only do I have all of these matters to take care of with technology, I now have to remember EVERY password for EVERY account I may have. I am drowning so fast! Any suggestions on how to keep them organized and still secure? I am serious, it has become so overwhelming the last two weeks that I am completely losing it. None of them are the same because each log in requires its unique criteria for passwords.

Someone help me. I am drowning in mine, yours, ours, and theirs!!!

Just Sitting Here Remembering

Early this morning Lonnie and Garrett drove off to Fort Worth for the stock show. Can't describe the feeling I had as I watched the taillights of the truck disappear into the fog!

Garrett is now 15 (16 is just six short weeks!) and has been to the stock show so many times he knows the grounds by heart. He loves going and it truly is where his complete interest and drive lye. I hugged him this morning and told him and I loved him and sorry I couldn't go. He so sweetly turned and looked at me and said, "it's ok. I understand." Gave me that sweet grin and headed out the door. Just for a split second I saw the little boy that used to climb into my lap and tug on my earrings and say "pwetty". Oh, my heart melted completely to my toes and I had to just lean against the wall to hold myself up.

The day I saw Garrett for the first time, I had that same exact feeling. He stole my heart long before he was born but the day I saw him he melted it right to my toes. He has always had that quality about him that made me just melt. I know most kids do that to their moms but he became part of me the very second I knew about him. His every move became mine, his every want became mine, his every challenge became mine. He became mine!

I miss getting to go with him to the stock shows. It is wonderful to spend time with him while he does what he loves. He has two years left for showing so I am making it a priority right now to commit to going with him next year to them ALL! It may be whirlwind trips but I will be there. I am not going to miss another show and a chance at my heart melting to my toes!

Good Gravies!

Ok, some of you will think "Good gravies, Kim, where have you been?" and some will be like "really?" after I post this.

For years and I mean years I have heard about Pioneer Gravy mix. Even had three pouches in my pantry that Guthri and I picked up at the San Antonio Stock Show (can't resist those freebies!) last year. Well, last night I was baking chicken strips. Yes, they came from the frozen food section at United. Anyway, I also made mashed potatoes and Guthri asked if we could have graby (that is how she says it). I was like, "ummmm......no, I don't have any oil from frying to make it with." Guthri walks away kind of disappointed but no big deal. I just kept thinking about it and remembered the Pioneer Gravy mix I had in the pantry. Pulled out a pouch and read the directions. Wasn't too sure how it would taste because it was made with water!!! Made the stuff in less than 3 minutes and WOW, it was great! Got up this morning to discover no school so immediately went to making sausage, gravy and biscuits. You guessed it, I used the other two pouches of Pioneer Gravy mix and just poured it in with the fried, crumbled sausage. All in 8 minutes! Absolutely the best biscuits and gravy I have eaten in a long time. I liked it so much better than the gravy that I make. Even felt less guilty for eating it because I knew it wasn't made with grease!

Now, I want to make it clear I know I could make gravy with any oil and it does not have to be left over from fried food. But, never taste the same so don't like to do it.

Just wanted to pass on my "new-old" find!

Personality Trait

There is something about myself that I cannot stand. I can alienate someone so fast that their head will spin! Not on purpose, but I just seem to push people away and know I am doing it but just can't stop sometimes. There are people that have been in my life for years yet I feel like I just met them and we have nothing in common. I become so standoffish that most will quit trying to befriend me. I am so negative that they just don't want to listen any longer. Can you blame them?

Why do I do this? Drives me nuts. I sit by myself and just watch, feeling sorry for myself because no one talks to me. Or, think that I don't have as much money as they do so I will just sit here and not draw attention to myself. Well, who's fault is it? MINE!

I have had this issue for years but just seems to be worse the last year or so. I justify myself by thinking "I am sick of trying." I know it is wrong. I know deep down that all the "silliness" in my head is just not true. However, I let it stew in my head for days and even weeks until I have put up some defense of protecting myself (in MY head). Any suggestions of how I can change this? It is a personality trait that I cannot stand! I despise people that always feel sorry for themselves and think that everyone owes them. I despise people that feel like you have to make the first move to form a relationship or a conversation. I despise people that talk only about themselves. Sooooooo....why do I do it too? Drives me nuts!

There are times that I am on top of the world and just push my way way through life with complete confidence. So why the fluctuation in attitude? Who knows....still drives me nuts!

Scrooge?

Christmas has always been my favorite time of year. I have decorated my house like it was a Christmas store. I have baked bread, made cookies, and made candy, until the house reeked of flour, baking soda, and sugary syrup. I have stayed up till all hours of the night wrapping presents that I have so diligently planned for and purchased early in anticipation of the holiday. I have blown fuses with outdoor Christmas lights. I have sent Christmas cards the Friday after Thanksgiving to people we have not seen in over 20 years and don't even know if they are still alive, but it was the season. I was Christmas to all it is made up to be.

This year? Not so much! I could have cared less if the tree got put up and cared even less what it looked like. Thank goodness Lonnie got it all out and Guthri was in the mood to do it all. Lonnie did help her a little but she did about 90% of it. I felt guilty sitting there watching her but not enough to get me up to help. I cringe when I think of baking or making candy. Can't even make myself buy the stuff to make it. Have only bought ONE present. Not sure when I will get the others bought and have no desire to make the effort. Not sure how I will get it done. Christmas cards will be nonexitance this year. I have not even decorated my classroom and not sure if I will! Poor kids!

What is wrong with me? I know part of it is money and things are so expensive this year. My kids have made a list worth a million bucks and part of me feels guilty for not being able to afford their slightest whim. But, we have had tough times before and I just did the best I could and the kids were as happy as could be.... Part of it is that we have been so busy that the Christmas mood has not been able to "set in". There is no time to enjoy the "magic".... Part of it is the competition between kids on who gets the biggest or the most. It drives me crazy to listen to kids tell what they got for Christmas when I know their families are in line for every hand-out in the state.... Part of it is scheduling families so that everyone is happy and no one feels left out or put out. We travel to Brownwood and Fredericksburg, so it over 800 miles and about $300 in gas and expenses. The kids get restless and seem to fight non-stop all the way there and all they way home. Stressful trip!....Part of it is I am tired! Lonnie has been gone so much the last few months, along with numerous meetings and activities in town. He has been MIA for almost three months. So, begging for more family time is just a sore subject these days.

I have never thought of myself as a scrooge but this year I think I fit the mold pretty well. I am not sure how the holiday season will end out but I hope I get a swift kick in the rear-end and it straightens me out. Try to have a great Christmas despite my SCROOGENESS!!!

Who is doing the receiving?

Our church is doing the neatest thing this Sunday. About a month ago our preacher introduced us to the "Fill a Sack" campaign. Each family was asked to take a list of groceries and fill a paper sack to be given to a needy family or person in our community. On Sunday morning, all the sacks will be brought to church and placed at the front of the auditorium. That evening we will meet together again and divide up the sacks to deliver to needy families.

The best part of the entire "campaign" has been the support of our community. Last night at the grocery store I saw several people (not members of our congregation) with "the list" and buying groceries to feed the needy. I heard two ladies talking and were so excited to help out. At school this morning several teachers were talking about it and were very impressed with the idea and wanted to know if they could donate.

We are blessed to worship at a congregation that encourages us to always serve. Our preacher and elders always challenge us to give when it is not easy. What is even better is the impression we continually give to our community. Just by service others are introduced to Jesus. So many times when we serve we feel great for helping and think that those receiving the "gift" are the fortunate ones; however, we that serve are the ones that receive!

Just proud!

Last night I was so proud of my son because he showed character far beyond anyone around him and smiled at himself for what he had done. I wanted to write about it so badly but for whatever reason, I could not get on the Internet. I tried earlier today but the words just would not come. I just read a friends blog about her son's dedication to achieving his dreams and how proud she is of her son. She is a blessed woman with beautiful children and she inspired me to write about Garrett and let you know what a great young man he has become.

I won't go into details but yesterday Garrett helped with the annual ag day hosted by his dad and the Ag Committee. Garrett arrived earlier than any other teen helper. He unloaded heavy boxes of materials. He set up displays. He taught every group that came through his station. He interacted with every kid there and did a great job teaching. He was the ONLY teen helper to clean up. He helped load things for every adult presenter. He unloaded a full pickup of things into his dad's office. He picked up the 4-H display at the museum. He did it all!

Now, this is not about how much he did. It is about the character he showed during all this. Garrett did not complain about the work. He did not sit in a chair and gripe about being tired. He did not resent being the "County Agent's Son". He is always the first to arrive and the last to leave. He is always the one to set up and the one to clean up. In the past, he has done his fair share of whining and letting everyone know how put out he was. But, not yesterday. He worked hard and at the end of the day when he was laying on the couch he said, "You know, today was good. I am tired and my feet are killing me but I think I did a good job." He grinned a little and I told him how proud we were of the person he has become. He grinned a little more. It is just a blessed feeling to know he was justifiedly proud of himself!