Good Gravies!

Ok, some of you will think "Good gravies, Kim, where have you been?" and some will be like "really?" after I post this.

For years and I mean years I have heard about Pioneer Gravy mix. Even had three pouches in my pantry that Guthri and I picked up at the San Antonio Stock Show (can't resist those freebies!) last year. Well, last night I was baking chicken strips. Yes, they came from the frozen food section at United. Anyway, I also made mashed potatoes and Guthri asked if we could have graby (that is how she says it). I was like, "ummmm......no, I don't have any oil from frying to make it with." Guthri walks away kind of disappointed but no big deal. I just kept thinking about it and remembered the Pioneer Gravy mix I had in the pantry. Pulled out a pouch and read the directions. Wasn't too sure how it would taste because it was made with water!!! Made the stuff in less than 3 minutes and WOW, it was great! Got up this morning to discover no school so immediately went to making sausage, gravy and biscuits. You guessed it, I used the other two pouches of Pioneer Gravy mix and just poured it in with the fried, crumbled sausage. All in 8 minutes! Absolutely the best biscuits and gravy I have eaten in a long time. I liked it so much better than the gravy that I make. Even felt less guilty for eating it because I knew it wasn't made with grease!

Now, I want to make it clear I know I could make gravy with any oil and it does not have to be left over from fried food. But, never taste the same so don't like to do it.

Just wanted to pass on my "new-old" find!

Personality Trait

There is something about myself that I cannot stand. I can alienate someone so fast that their head will spin! Not on purpose, but I just seem to push people away and know I am doing it but just can't stop sometimes. There are people that have been in my life for years yet I feel like I just met them and we have nothing in common. I become so standoffish that most will quit trying to befriend me. I am so negative that they just don't want to listen any longer. Can you blame them?

Why do I do this? Drives me nuts. I sit by myself and just watch, feeling sorry for myself because no one talks to me. Or, think that I don't have as much money as they do so I will just sit here and not draw attention to myself. Well, who's fault is it? MINE!

I have had this issue for years but just seems to be worse the last year or so. I justify myself by thinking "I am sick of trying." I know it is wrong. I know deep down that all the "silliness" in my head is just not true. However, I let it stew in my head for days and even weeks until I have put up some defense of protecting myself (in MY head). Any suggestions of how I can change this? It is a personality trait that I cannot stand! I despise people that always feel sorry for themselves and think that everyone owes them. I despise people that feel like you have to make the first move to form a relationship or a conversation. I despise people that talk only about themselves. Sooooooo....why do I do it too? Drives me nuts!

There are times that I am on top of the world and just push my way way through life with complete confidence. So why the fluctuation in attitude? Who knows....still drives me nuts!

Scrooge?

Christmas has always been my favorite time of year. I have decorated my house like it was a Christmas store. I have baked bread, made cookies, and made candy, until the house reeked of flour, baking soda, and sugary syrup. I have stayed up till all hours of the night wrapping presents that I have so diligently planned for and purchased early in anticipation of the holiday. I have blown fuses with outdoor Christmas lights. I have sent Christmas cards the Friday after Thanksgiving to people we have not seen in over 20 years and don't even know if they are still alive, but it was the season. I was Christmas to all it is made up to be.

This year? Not so much! I could have cared less if the tree got put up and cared even less what it looked like. Thank goodness Lonnie got it all out and Guthri was in the mood to do it all. Lonnie did help her a little but she did about 90% of it. I felt guilty sitting there watching her but not enough to get me up to help. I cringe when I think of baking or making candy. Can't even make myself buy the stuff to make it. Have only bought ONE present. Not sure when I will get the others bought and have no desire to make the effort. Not sure how I will get it done. Christmas cards will be nonexitance this year. I have not even decorated my classroom and not sure if I will! Poor kids!

What is wrong with me? I know part of it is money and things are so expensive this year. My kids have made a list worth a million bucks and part of me feels guilty for not being able to afford their slightest whim. But, we have had tough times before and I just did the best I could and the kids were as happy as could be.... Part of it is that we have been so busy that the Christmas mood has not been able to "set in". There is no time to enjoy the "magic".... Part of it is the competition between kids on who gets the biggest or the most. It drives me crazy to listen to kids tell what they got for Christmas when I know their families are in line for every hand-out in the state.... Part of it is scheduling families so that everyone is happy and no one feels left out or put out. We travel to Brownwood and Fredericksburg, so it over 800 miles and about $300 in gas and expenses. The kids get restless and seem to fight non-stop all the way there and all they way home. Stressful trip!....Part of it is I am tired! Lonnie has been gone so much the last few months, along with numerous meetings and activities in town. He has been MIA for almost three months. So, begging for more family time is just a sore subject these days.

I have never thought of myself as a scrooge but this year I think I fit the mold pretty well. I am not sure how the holiday season will end out but I hope I get a swift kick in the rear-end and it straightens me out. Try to have a great Christmas despite my SCROOGENESS!!!

Who is doing the receiving?

Our church is doing the neatest thing this Sunday. About a month ago our preacher introduced us to the "Fill a Sack" campaign. Each family was asked to take a list of groceries and fill a paper sack to be given to a needy family or person in our community. On Sunday morning, all the sacks will be brought to church and placed at the front of the auditorium. That evening we will meet together again and divide up the sacks to deliver to needy families.

The best part of the entire "campaign" has been the support of our community. Last night at the grocery store I saw several people (not members of our congregation) with "the list" and buying groceries to feed the needy. I heard two ladies talking and were so excited to help out. At school this morning several teachers were talking about it and were very impressed with the idea and wanted to know if they could donate.

We are blessed to worship at a congregation that encourages us to always serve. Our preacher and elders always challenge us to give when it is not easy. What is even better is the impression we continually give to our community. Just by service others are introduced to Jesus. So many times when we serve we feel great for helping and think that those receiving the "gift" are the fortunate ones; however, we that serve are the ones that receive!

Just proud!

Last night I was so proud of my son because he showed character far beyond anyone around him and smiled at himself for what he had done. I wanted to write about it so badly but for whatever reason, I could not get on the Internet. I tried earlier today but the words just would not come. I just read a friends blog about her son's dedication to achieving his dreams and how proud she is of her son. She is a blessed woman with beautiful children and she inspired me to write about Garrett and let you know what a great young man he has become.

I won't go into details but yesterday Garrett helped with the annual ag day hosted by his dad and the Ag Committee. Garrett arrived earlier than any other teen helper. He unloaded heavy boxes of materials. He set up displays. He taught every group that came through his station. He interacted with every kid there and did a great job teaching. He was the ONLY teen helper to clean up. He helped load things for every adult presenter. He unloaded a full pickup of things into his dad's office. He picked up the 4-H display at the museum. He did it all!

Now, this is not about how much he did. It is about the character he showed during all this. Garrett did not complain about the work. He did not sit in a chair and gripe about being tired. He did not resent being the "County Agent's Son". He is always the first to arrive and the last to leave. He is always the one to set up and the one to clean up. In the past, he has done his fair share of whining and letting everyone know how put out he was. But, not yesterday. He worked hard and at the end of the day when he was laying on the couch he said, "You know, today was good. I am tired and my feet are killing me but I think I did a good job." He grinned a little and I told him how proud we were of the person he has become. He grinned a little more. It is just a blessed feeling to know he was justifiedly proud of himself!

Gifts from Above

No...not the gifts that land on your car when you park under a tree!!! I mean true gifts from God. Things you don't ask for, the surprises that come without desire, without need, without anything. They are just there. Here are a few of my gifts:

1) After 19 years of marriage and 15 years of being a mom, Lonnie finally cooked breakfast on Sunday morning!!! Didn't have to ask, didn't even care if breakfast got cooked that morning. He just did it. Awesome!

2) Found $5 dollars in a pocket of my purse this morning. Meant I didn't have to use the debit card to get a drink at Sonic!

3) Garrett so unexpectedly opened the car door to find a grouchy Guthri. He immediately started teasing her to make her laugh. We all laughed and are still grinning. Got her in a great mood and said, "I love it when she laughs!" Awwww......go ahead you know it made you grin too!

4) Got to have my ENTIRE conference this morning to myself! It was amazing....you would not believe how much I got done. Great!

The one gift that slaps me in the face when I allow it to is my children. Parenting can be so frustrating and make you question EVERY decision you have ever made in your life. I am so bad about seeing all the negative and focusing on the constant responsibility or the never ending laundry. Every once in a while (when I allow it) my kids just look at me and my heart melts.

Today, Guthri was in such a bad mood after school and was upset with her brother. He truly had done nothing wrong and was wanting to help her but for whatever reason she was just not going to let him be nice to her. She climbed into the back seat of the car and sat there pouting. I honestly thought she would fall asleep on the way home. Garrett opened the door and she literally tried to bite his hand. He just tapped her on the head and said, "It's time to go Mrs. McGregor." It was the funniest thing I have ever heard! He kept at her until she was laughing. He did it to not be annoying but because he loves her and wanted her to be happy. And when she did start laughing it was not just a giggle but a belly roll laugh. It was so refreshing and fun to just laugh with my kids. We laughed for over 20 minutes. Guthri came up and gave me a huge hug and told me "Even if I had a sister, I would still want Garrett for a brother." I know that sounds silly but most parents with more than one child can completely understand!!

Today, my gifts consisted of nothing that money could buy, nothing anyone could have planned for, nothing I even expected. Just my family, happy and loving. Best gift I have ever received!

Some People....

Have you ever dealt with someone and then walked away and thought "some people"? I do it all the time. I have to stop and make myself see the inner being of some people. God has placed a person in my life that I am constantly having to FORCE myself to see the inner being and the reason he/she is in my life. I had dodged this person at various events because I knew the personality and knew I could not handle it. I literally would hide or turn my back to keep from making eye contact. I just could not handle the belligerent talk, the sob stories, (to put it bluntly) the stupidity. This person drove me insane!

Well, low and behold, God planted this person right on my door step!!!!!! It was not funny, it was not something I thought I could handle. I struggle every day to deal with the attitude and force this person comes at me with. I look at what I can do for this person and think "That is why God put him/her in my life." Then, boom, he/she does something so ridiculous that I think I can't handle it. I take a deep breath and remember I am the Christian, the one that needs to give. Then, wham! Here it comes again.

A few nights ago as this person was basically assaulting me, I realized God put him/her in my life to teach me something. To teach me that I am to have more tolerance, I am to have patience, compassion, love even when it is sooooo hard for me. It is easy to talk a good game and to always say the right things but to actually live it is a total commitment to living like Jesus. I have to give myself to His will even when it is not comfortable or convenient. Hmmmm..."some people!" (Talking about myself here!)